what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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