smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
