so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
