i just google imaged poop.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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