He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
