Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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