I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
