Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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