my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
