Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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