This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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