Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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