WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
