Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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