Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
