The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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