saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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