I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize