therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.