I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
