How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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