Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
