Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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