You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
