just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
