i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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