More tranny stories later!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
