My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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