The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
