haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
