I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How does one acquire holy water?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
