the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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