"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
