She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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