Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
