You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
