So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize