Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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