Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me I should be a condom model.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
