My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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