dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
