I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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