I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
