If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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