Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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