I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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