The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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