My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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