they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
