She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
