I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
