is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
