can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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