Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize