Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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