dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
